What Does Depression Feel Like?
This blog is written from the perspective of a person who struggles with depression. But my hope is that this blog can also be helpful to people who don’t have depressive symptoms, to gain a better understanding and be more compassionate and helpful to people around them struggling with this debilitating condition.
Have you ever tried to explain to a person who doesn’t have your condition, what depression feels like and what you experience? I bet you have, and I am sure it’s often a frustrating experience and sometimes it can be sobering when met with the glare of not understanding, followed with the meant well advise of “just get over it”, “just move on”, “just think positive”. These unhelpful, but well-meant comments often feel not only annoying, but can be downright frustrating to the person who is suffering and is seeking at the minimum willingness to listen and care.
On the other hand, you likely know also many people who do have depression too, and yes they get you. It’s a relief knowing that you are not alone, and these people are often your allies. However, sometimes two depressed people at the same time going through their struggles might actually pull themselves further into their darkness. The reason for this is that we tend on taking on the other persons worries and dig out hole even deeper into our misery because now we worry about not only about our own issues but also about our friend’s concerns as well.
It is so very important that we have supportive people around us who can lift our spirits up and keep us going in the right direction. What a depressed person doesn’t need is someone minimizing their struggles and being silenced. Talking can be very therapeutic, but is must be empathetic and understanding. Otherwise it may cause more harm, as the person with depression now might also be confronted with being shamed for their feelings and feeling guilty for allowing themselves for speaking up.
Depression feels likely a bit different for each person, but many of us have similar experiences. Some people have situational depression that may only linger for a brief period, while others may struggle with depression all their lives. Sometimes these symptoms are light and during other times they might be much more severe. However, experiencing these kind of symptoms isn’t any fun and it isn’t something we can just control.
Symptoms of Depression
No interest in anything
Not getting out of bed and just wanting to sleep
Not showering or brushing teeth
Not eating or on the contrary overindulging with food
Avoiding social functions
Getting easily irritated and frustrated
Getting into arguments over unimportant stuff
Missing work
Dishes pilling up
Not going to the grocery store
Not doing laundry and running out of clean cloth
Falling behind paying the bills
Avoiding intimacy
All time spend on social media, watching TV, playing video games
Feeling hopeless and worthless
Not answering phone and avoiding interactions with friends and family
Missing family get-togethers
Overreacting with people (example: extreme reaction to bad customer service)
Making up excuses when people point out the obvious
Not wanting to leave the house
Not liking oneself anymore
Not being able to enjoy and activities
Worrying about being judged by others for having a mental health condition
Reduced feeling of self-worth
Questioning the point of living (this is very severe and doesn’t happen to everyone of course)
Providing an Open Ear
When these symptoms hit we are often surprised, especially when we have managed the condition well for some time. However, depression is like a Chameleon, it changes and doesn’t stay the same. This is why it’s so important that when a person with depression reaches out, that we are willing to listen and help them to cope the best they can. Try to listen what they are struggling with. Figure out if they want feedback or not, as sometimes a person truly only wants someone to listen, or maybe they need a hug and hear that everything will work out and things will be fine. Often we aren’t looking for the listener to find a solution for us, but rather hoping for an empathetic reaction more than anything at all. But if a depressed person is asking for your advice, please don’t give standard answers that don’t really help. Instead try to brainstorm with the person to realize why some options won’t work and what is realistic for that person and what is not. Knowing that you truly care and putting an actual effort into the conversation rather than shutting them up or shame them, will give them encouragement and hope, which is what they truly need.
Depression can be a very dark and lonely place, so when a depressed person reaches out, please provide the support they are asking for. Your kind words and willingness to listen can make a huge difference and might just help them to pull out of their hole.
Thanks for reading my post. I am ready to support you with depression therapy if you are ready. Connect with me to find out more.
