Boundaries in the Workplace
So here you are at work, it’s Monday again. A fresh start to your work-week. You review what is due for the week and what you need to follow up on. You feel like you are on top of it all then a co-worker or supervisor stops by your desk. What is it now you ask yourself? Will they say Good morning, will the ask me for a work favor, or will they just dump something extra at my desk? I’m sure we have all felt that at one time or another, maybe even daily. If you are a people pleaser and yes-sayer, you need to ask yourself these very important questions:
Do I know how to say no? You should!
Am I a people pleaser? It’s best not to be.
Do I have boundaries? Of course, they are there.
I bet some of you didn’t get the right answers when asking these questions. And that’s okay, what’s not okay is allowing the wrong answers to continue to be your answer.
While it’s understandable that you want to make a good impression and help out as much as possible, it is important to know when you are taking on too much, which will affect your work quality and work production.
So, let’s talk about these issues. What are boundaries in the work place? Why should you have them? And what happens when you don’t have them in place? First we need to discuss what boundaries are - a define/set limit or line that must be observed by people you work with. These boundaries should outline your job duties and required commitments for your job to be done correctly. Having boundaries equals more efficiency. If you don’t have to spend extra time with other issues you will be able to complete your own tasks faster. It also means keeping your mental and physical wellbeing healthy. In addition, it helps regulate your stress levels not having to worry about completing tasks outside your normal duties.
How to set boundaries?
Below are four straightforward ways to set boundaries at the work place.
1. Create structure
Having a set schedule for the work day will allow you to stay on task. Having it posted for co-workers/supervisors to see will allow them to know you are busy with a task and for them to know what you are working on. This transparency will decrease the unnecessary questions of – where are you with this task, when do you expect to be done, have you started this yet?
Having an agenda will also allow you to stay on topic during a meeting and will ensure all required matters are addressed. It will also limit interruption’s and force the questions to be held till the end of the meeting.
2. Clear communication
When setting boundaries clearly state what they are to all involved parties. Provide defined limits and lines that cannot be crossed. Leaving no room for a “gray” area. By doing this people will be aware of what is acceptable and what is not when approaching you about job tasks and requests. Be open minded about constructive feedback to ensure you can improve and grow in your position. The goal is not to go from yay-sayer to nay-sayer, but instead to focus on a healthy workload and fairly distributed work assignments.
3. Prepare for boundaries to be crossed
By preparing for possible boundaries to be broken will give you the advantage to responding to the incident professionally. Think about the most important boundaries you have set and think of the ways they can be broken. How would you react if that happened? Would you be able to respond correctly? Would you be able to explain how they crossed the boundary and how it made you feel? Knowing what your reaction will be will help you defend and define the boundary that was crossed.
4. Timely notification of noncompliance of boundaries
When a boundary is crossed/broken the timeliness of your response is important. By explaining right away that the boundary was broken, how it was broken and what that does to you will reinforce the importance of the boundary. It is important that those who work with you respect your boundaries, as you are respectful in what you expect from others. Don’t roll the incident over in your mind trying to decide if you should address it or not. In addressing this type of issue quickly will help you effectively communicate realistic expectations. For example, if you agree to take on an extra project, communicate how this affects your other work duties, and how this gap will be addressed so you can still exceed in doing your job in a timely manner without any negative effects of your work. This will keep your stress level balanced without you panicking how you going to get this done.
Saying no….Do you feel guilty when you say no? Do you feel that it’s your duty to do everything asked of you in the work place?
Many of us feel that way but it’s harmful to our wellbeing in many ways. When you say yes to those extra requests you not only lay extra stress at your feet, but you hinder your ability to do the job you were hired for. Before saying yes think about this:
Does this fall within my job description? Maybe what you are being asked to do is above what you should be doing by policy and it should be done by a different department or someone in a higher level.
Will it take me away from other duties? By doing this extra task will you be able to complete the other work assigned on time and within policy standards? Probably not. Which is why you must consider the effect of these extra requests have on your day to day duties that you are most defiantly responsible for to complete.
When saying no be straight forward and don’t dance around or “sugar coat” the answer. There can be push back, but it if you stand firm with your answer you will earn respect and help reinforce your boundaries.
Are you a people pleaser? If you say yes all the time then YES you are a people pleaser. We become people pleasers for many reasons. Some reasons are known to us some unknown. Many of us feel there is no other option, you must say yes when asked to complete extra work. We have the attitude of well if I was asked then I must. But that’s not true. You can say no when the impossible is expected of you.
Do you know the effects it has on you when there are no boundaries, you can’t say no, and you try to please others? Well they aren’t just mental, they are physically as well.
Your time is wasted; when you should be focusing on what you need to do for your job.
Your energy is depleted; you end up using all your extra energy pleasing others.
You will soon be overwhelmed trying to juggle your work and the extra work of others.
You may start to feel used by your co-workers; as if you were in a one-sided partnership. You will feel unappreciated for your abilities and what you accomplish.
And in the end, there will be resentment towards those you work with, the work itself and even maybe the employer. Resentment is not healthy and will affect your relations with other people at work.
All of these can lead to and cause increased stress, depression and anxiety. You begin to neglect yourself and your needs, not just at work but his may bleed into your personal life as well. So remember you must set boundaries of all kinds to ensure your health is not compromised and you are able to live your life to its fullest.
It is important you learn to say yes and no to the right things.
You also want to remain accessible to co-workers and supervisors and not be known to say no to everything. Staff members should not be worried to ask you for reasonable help, as you want to remain a team player. However, healthy boundaries will help you establish a blueprint on how to say no to unreasonable assignments/projects and keep your overwhelm at bay.
Balancing careers with your personal life can be a challenge that many people commonly feel stressed over. Learning to set boundaries through anxiety therapy and career counseling can help you find better ways to be happier at work. Let’s connect soon so you can learn about how I can help you.
